So what happened on the day that changed my life forever? Let me back up just a little. Five years ago I was having some problems with my stomach and I went to a holistic doctor. She gave me some advice on my diet and at the end of our visit, she said, “I know this sounds kind of strange, but rather than focus on your symptoms, focus on your stomach being normal.” I thought it was kind of weird since I had not heard that advice from anyone before, especially a doctor.
I didn’t think too much about it after that. That same day I came home and wondered what was on Oprah. So I went to my computer and searched on her site for the show to be aired that day. Something caught my attention and to this day I can’t remember what it said, but it was something about people’s lives being changed or something to that effect. There had been several shows on the subject and people were saying how their lives were changed forever.
I clicked on the link and I remember crying after I watched it and sitting there realizing I had no idea I was creating problems in my life and at the same time feeling empowered, knowing I could turn it around . I am sure you are familiar with “The Secret“. I have always loved personal development and have read many, many books on this subject in my life. But there was something in “The Secret” that allowed me to see no one needed to change for my life to be better and for me to be happy but ME!
Now if you knew me then, you probably wouldn’t say I was a negative person, but I tended to find what was wrong with a situation and then focus on it. The most painful area to talk about was my relationship with my husband. It seemed to me at the time he had many, many irritating and weird habits. I would focus on them and basically tell him to change. I just knew if things changed in my life, I would be happy. After watching “The Secret,” I realized how terribly wrong I was. I realized it was ME that needed to change, not him.
That same day, when he came home from work, I sat him down and told him about “The Secret”. I cried as I told him I was sorry for any criticizing I had done over the years and I was a changed person and it wouldn’t happen again. Interestingly enough, we have now been married 19 years and I can’t think of anything that bothers me anymore. When you start to focus on the good in a person, you don’t notice the things that used to bother you.
It worked with every person. The people that used to bug the heck out of me, I actually like and that was not due to them changing. It was due to me changing and focusing on the positive in that person.
I use this in my life every day. Seek first to understand rather than be understood. Give up trying to be right all the time. Release negative emotions. Forgive freely. Admit you are wrong and ask for forgiveness and make it up to them. Set your ego aside. Let God’s light shine through you at all times. As Ghandi says, be the change you want to see in the world.
I believe every person in this world wants the same thing- to be happy, healthy, and abundant. Showing someone they matter and giving them your attention is one of the greatest gifts of life. I hope you learned something from my experience. I would love to hear your comments below.
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